My Response...

Seeing us I can live in my bubble, just read Njoki Chege's piece on "Fat=Cheating", plus her interview on the Trend, & now her new article today on pretty much GoldDigging, well my 2cents here, if it matters really, is I get it! I really honestly do get where she's coming from on both articles; But here is my issue- My kids are now 3yrs and am probably my heaviest now & though I may be much busier, truth is if I wanted to, I would be making healthier choices, but sometimes as women & men likewise we tend to get comfortable & lazy & also one thing am learning especially for me as a single Mom, because I don't have a man to come home too I come to a place of acceptance & unconditional love from my two girls, so that pressure isn't really there, but in real essence how it should be is, only until a woman realizes that she needs to get to a place where she needs to workout for herself, eat better for herself, dress smarter, all these things should be because you love your body, it's your temple take care of it & you'll be surprised at the confidence you'll get if you do it for you...

 All must be to done for your good, don't do it for your partner, that said the bible is clear that "The Woman will crave the attention of a Man" So it all goes back to knowing your worth & that He made you beautiful, so if your spirit is right you'll also want your body to catch up with it, so do it for you!! Because a man won't cheat because your fat! He'll make the choice to cheat anyway, so you'll do all these things to impress him only to be cheated on, then loose the will to even try to look beautiful, because the reason you look beautiful every morning is for him & not you, so that correlation between weight gain=cheating is not that black & white, because Though men are visual beings, cheating is a choice! And he who makes the decision to has the problem, and that should not be pegged on your weight. A good man would simply address it head on & you work as a partners to bring out the best in each other. I could go on forever really, but calm down people Njoki Chege is only doing what I've always had a problem with- Maximizing on Controversy, sucks but that's what sells, but I must say that I like that she is starting necessary conversations., though leaving a sour taste for many...

Her new article, Well... I actually posted a similar one on this blog earlier this year; Revelations... My view then... But more evolved... Only thing constant in life is change eh;-)

Lesson...

 I can't shake this unwavering feeling that all I have prayed for, cried to God for & prepared for is all happenening...

There is a condition though... Listen to God...

Funny how when your desperate for God to move in your life, the fervent prayer & fasting comes so naturally, but when waiting on Him becomes a little too hard & you slowly find yourself giving into the desires of the flesh, accepting that maybe this is all it's set out to be, you stop praying, or atleast stop praying as honestly & with the same hunger, because sin separates you from God...

Like Adam & Eve, shame creeps in, and now you feel unworthy to go before Him, the sin has also become too sweet to walk away from, but deep down you know that this phase will not last forever and wait for the day that He will give you a reality check!! And when He does it Hits Hard!! Everything in your life will go wrong, from home to work, sickness will follow you & your children, work will bear no fruits & yes you will be broke all the TIME!!

Only until you wake up & realise that we serve a Jelous God! So once you put someone or something else on a Pedalstal, His Grace & Mercy will no longer cover you, because your only safe when your living in His Divine Purpose, but also be aware that the road is still not smooth, the tests & trials are granted, but by His Strength He will equip you & this too shall Pass...

That said, am learning how beautiful & peaceful it is to live in your purpose, you thrive, you glow, you love...

And one key element of Success am learning is to always give God what is His!!! First Fruits, Tithe & Offering... He really does give you back press down & shaken together!!!

Second thing... Be Fearless!! Share about His Greatness, His Love & Mercy, never be afraid to stand up and be counted as one of His, He will surely reward you...

Lastly, know who you are in Him!! Beautiful, Loved, Forgiven, The Head & not the tail & Favoured!! Once you tap into that reality you will have the courage to live the life He has set out for you, you will have the courage to walk away from that unhealthy relationship, you will have the courage to love the way God say's you should love, and you will have the courage to be a better Parent, a more intentional parent...

I hope this speaks to someone, because I really do feel the burden to reach out... I can't keep this all to myself...

My Reality...

My Reality is that I may never get it...
My Reality is that My big break may never come(I think we're actually supposed to go for it though)
My Reality is that, this may be all I'll ever have...
But My Reality is that, this time it doesn't hurt as much...
However My Reality is that, this time I should have known better...
Because My Reality is that, this time I need to remember that I can't expect different results by doing the same thing...
But My Reality, is that I don't know how else to do it...
So looks like My Reality is seemingly Bleak...
Though I still can't shake the unwavering feeling of hope, because as always... My Reality is This Too Shall Pass...
Always Does...

March 2014!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2U0Ivkn2Ds&list=PL55713C70BA91BD6E

Revelations

So I recently over-heard a rather interesting conversation at the spa, where the client was am guessing narrating her personal life experience to the manicurist, and she said that her Mother was rather worried for this generation; And that caught my attention, because I was curious to hear where the conversation would then lead, at first I thought she'd say the usual "oh! this generation is so lost! incredibly ratchet! and misguided" or whatever, but what she said got me thinking; she said "in her day couples lasted longer"... Hmmm I know... And here is the reason she went on to add; "because The Man and The Woman, didn't come to the table as Equals!" BOOM!! Moment of silence there...

Speaking to the ladies here... Women are driving better cars if not the same then the guy who's tryna holla @U!! Or you both live in a two or three bedroom apartment in up-market nairobi, so the client went on to say- "What then is the man bringing to the table!?" I hope this doesn't come out as too materialistic... But I kinda get where she's coming from...

And so I left the spa that day with that eaves dropped conversation playing over in my mind, and it got me thinking about my dating life as a Single Mother, & truth be told I do find myself attracted to a more successful man, and by that I mean more successful than myself, other than the whole; security, comfort and all that jazz, I realized the main reason is "Iron sharpens Iron", well at least for me that's the case, because I want a man who's already there!! That way he can teach me a thing or two about how to get there!! Push me to want to be a better version of myself! I honestly feel like a Man who's already there! Is more settled with himself & as a result more secure, confident & sure of what he wants, which is very attractive! I was just reading Caroline Mutoko's article on the Monday Star & she gave a polite reminder; "Boy is Passive! While Man is Active" I feel like in this generation we are dealing with more Boys than we are Men! Yes I said it!! Granted, the Men are present, probably even a generous lot! and bless them for representing! But the ratio is insane!!& men may probably say the same about us women, but am just speaking my truth here!!

Another revelation! which am still surprised is only dawning on me now!! Is how deluded the dating scene is for the Single Mother! almost void of the fairytale!! And by that I mean, Men don't even try to sugar coat, pretend or attempt to want more! Married Men openly approach you!! & as for the Single ones, well at least the stories I've heard; they are either afraid or would rather play mind games! and nobody got time for that!

So all this left me wondering, like honestly after two kids, is a woman supposed to stop believing in the fairytale? and secondly trust me, am not against a growing couple starting out together on the same page, not at all!! In fact I admire those who do it, it's beautiful in it's own right! In fact a Man who grows with his woman probably appreciates her more!! (errrmmmm I dunno... they still Clande) Anyway, am probably just tainted, but I now realize that for me I want a man who's been there done that! moved on and can share the experience with me, even a man who is a parent is easier then one who doesn't have kids, because there will be alot more that is familiar...

Allow me to wind up with a rant;- to all the Married Men out there and Single Men with commitment issues who think Single Mothers are not worth the fairytale! Be sure!! She is still worth the fuss! The investing! The effort & the dream! BOOM!!

That is all... #Catharsistherapy

John Mayer.Feat.Katy Perry- Who You Love... ENJOY!

The Power Of 7!!

Not too long ago, I was having dinner with one of my mentors and he was keen to point out the 7/7 rule! I was baffled, so asked him to clarify, he then asked me to pretty much analyze my life with each 7th cycle, and indeed our body developmental cycle operates in a cycle of SEVENS! 

And just to bring in some science as proof of this; Changes take place in the body every SEVEN years. There are SEVEN bones in the neck, SEVEN bones in the face, SEVEN bones in the ankle, and SEVEN holes in the head. Most births are multiple of SEVENS. The hen sits three weeks (21 days); the pigeon two weeks (14 days); after having laid eggs for two weeks. Of the 129 species of Mammalia the majority have a period from conception to birth of an exact number of weeks, a multiple of SEVEN.

And even if you can watch your growth, after each 7years you would begin a new phase of your life; first it's 7years, leaving the toddler stage and becoming more independent, then the next cycle 14years, just settling into the teen years, where all the drama takes place, then 21!! officially an adult, though of-course still alot more growing to do, then comes 28!! which is kinda where I am, because I just turned 27 this year and I can already feel a purging taking place to get me to my point of 'perfection' and completion... Allow me to explain; The Number 7 to me signifies COMPLETION!! According to scripture, which is evident every day, from the number of days it took to create the earth, which is now the number of days a week... The cycle completed in SEVEN days and many other instances in the bible, shows that God works in SEVENS! Usually 7! signifying the End of a phase and the beginning of a New... 

Now being shy of my thirties, where normally the concerns are marriage and settling down, being at the peak of my career or at-least on my way there, well to be honest as much as all that is a work in progress, I can really feel it... I am definitely more challenged now! First As a Mother, as much as two years later parenting is second nature, the new challenges are not a walk in the park! who would have thought potty training would be so HARD!! and instilling discipline can really have you pulling at your hair!! But I am certain that once we succeeded here, then we will then be turning the page and unto a new chapter, albeit with it's own different challenges, but indeed with sure growth and maturity for both them and me...

Then comes my career, which still has a long way to go, but I also can't shake off the feeling that something big is happening or is about to happen, so all I can do is prepare for it on my part and that involves going back to school to do what I've always wanted to, which is Psychology; and trust for God to take me to greater heights...

And of-course there is the sudden realization that I am single, with twin girls btw! LOL! (YES I just realized the other day!!) Anyway, this can stir up moments where one wonders if this is all I have in store for me? Is it too late for the picket fence and one or maybe two other children? Or even in this era we live in, is marriage really all it is set out to be?.... And I could really go on and on but fact is, even in this area of my life something is happening... I am now re-learning truths I thought I could take to the bank!! where love is concerned, but in that fairy-tale I realize that Love never comes as you expect, sometimes it can come looking sooo flawed, you end up discarding it as you wait for the perfect situation, which is by they way not the case at all, and by no means at all am I saying that we should settle for whatever comes our way!! HECK NO!! All am saying is be more open to different possibilities, but are of-course at the end of the day in line with your values and beliefs, because if your in conflict with yourself it will always show... My indicator has always been Peace of mind! If your not battling in the mind, then your well on you way... 

Of-course the next cycle is 35!! and funny enough I have a friend who is now here... Very beautiful, intelligent, go-getter, but still looking to settle down, and this can be a scary place to be or the most amazing place to be, depending on how you choose to look at it! If still single, your family may now really be on your neck to bear grand babies and may even be embarrassed to confess that their first born is still single! The stigma around this especially for the Woman who is at the top of her game, ends up loosing elements of her femininity I feel, she can become more abrasive, shrewd and pretty much no nonsense, because all she really has is her work, so she'll pull in extra hours, get her Master and maybe even PHD, so that she can have something to be proud of! HERSELF!!(THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL I MUST POINT OUT!) I actually think it is beautiful to invest in yourself though, but if not careful at this stage, then getting into a relationship will be rather difficult, because if your male age-mates are themselves not married, then the dynamics with the bachelors could be tricky, because you will both struggle to fit into each others world, of-course having both grown accustomed to your own space, so learning selflessness and compromise will not be an easy Journey... Or the other option is to have a young play boy!! But how long will that last...

And lastly for now at at-least... Is the 42year old, who may have a partner at home driving her crazy with his mid-life crisis and or teenagers running a havoc!! Or say maybe divorced, because I have a friend in a similar situation and she too is in a great place in her career, everything is going up! Parenting for her is probably the easiest part of her day, though as the teen years develop that is likely to change... And her love-life at this point is all up to her!! I feel like this is such a freeing place to be, she's probably not looking to get married, she's not rushing to have kids, she probably doesn't really need a man financially, so for her it's pretty much purely companionship!! which takes away all the pressure that comes with first timers like myself LOL!! So I feel like at this stage the relationship is likely to last longer, or if not, the fact that you will make the most of the PRESENT! You will surely be happier, more appreciate and I really do see what they mean when they say that for women, Life really does begin at 40!! One is more sure of themselves, so that does wonders for self-confidence, plus sexual appetite, which I forgot to mention, after 35 it can become a force to reckon with!! LOL! So if this is true for all, then you and your partner can have a Hella good time;-) Also at this stage, you've probably made almost all the mistakes, so a dozen times wiser and more appreciative, because at this point you really do believe that it is in fact 'NEVER THAT SERIOUS!!'

Wise Words From Mommy dearest...

Do you know that what you say is what you get?

I believe we get what we say because God honors His Word—and His Word says that “whosoever...shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass...shall have whatsoever he saith” (Mark 11:23)

He shall have whatsoever he saith! That is an awesome Bible promise. This however is a two-edged sword: it could work for you, or against you depending on what you say. We constantly use words like “I can't” and “I'm afraid” when God's Word says “I can” and “Fear not.” Our words are  are out of harmony with God's Word; we are disagreeing with the Lord!

“Can two walk together, except they agree?” asks Amos 3:3. I discovered that we can never walk with God in blessing, triumph and abundant supply as long as we disagree with God's Word. So here is the secret: we have to agree with the Lord, we have to say what God says about our lives, our health, our finances, our strength, our anointing, the power He has given us, about all the blessings He has promised us in His Word.

Since what we say is what we get, don't ever say anything you wouldn’t want to get. To help us overcome any habit of negative speaking, it may help us to start with the “Never Again List”

NEVER AGAIN LIST

Never Again will l confess “I can't” for “I can do do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

Never Again will I confess lack, for “My God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19)

Never Again will I confess fear, for “God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind” (2Timothy 1:7)

Never Again will I confess doubt and lack of faith, for “God has given to every man the measure of faith” (Romans12:3)

Never Again will I confess weakness, for “The Lord is the strength of my life” (Psalms 27:1) and “The people that know their Gos shall be strong and do exploits” (Daniel 11:32)

Never Again will I confess supremacy of satan over my life, for “Greater is he that is within me than he that is in the world” (1John 4:4)

Never Again will I confess lack of wisdom for “Christ Jesus is made unto me wisdom from God” (1Corinthians 1:30)

Never Again will I confess sickness for “By His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5) and Jesus “Himself took my infirmities and bare my sickness” (Matthew 8:17)

Never Again will I confess worries and frustrations, for I am “Casting all my cares upon Him who cares for me” (1Peter 5:7). In Christ I am “care-free!”

Never Again will I confess bondage, for “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty” (2Corinthians 3:17). My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit!

Never Again will I confess condemnation, for “There is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). I am in Christ; therefore , I am free from condemnation.

Lessons In Love

So chatting to a friend of mine about Relationships and Love... Blah!! Blah!! Blah!! Your probably thinking, Whats new there!! Well my friend is just a very visibly happily married woman, with a little one on the way... So I asked her how she knew her husband was the one for her... And her simple answer really struck me! She didn't give me many stories! All she said was "Because he truly loves me..." And that caught me cause we usually over-complicate things, over-think, over-analyse, but when it's truly meant to be... It's so easy! There is no doubt in your mind... Because This Love... His Love... Brings with it security and a peace of mind that sets such a calm tone in your life to complete the beautiful puzzle that it is...

She was however more aware of how to tell the real from the fake, only after experiencing the complete opposite of what she is now, so now her advise to me is always watch out for the warning signs and take heed... Your Gut! That sixth sense that we women are all blessed with is indeed your best friend... So when in doubt... In conflict with self and confusion starts to creep in... Be Still and listen to the message there in...

It's not always easy to walk away especially if that union was not based on the heart and mind equation, but once you realise that there is indeed far much more than fireworks, then your probably ready for a  Mature relationship... But also a dose of wisdom one of my aunties left with me, which is some critical advise ladies! "Be with a man who loves you more than You do Him!!"... Yup! I said it! even the good book calls for Men to Love! their wives! Key word here is Love! and all we're asked to do is to submit! And really if you think about it, Women really flourish and glow when they have a man who loves them... And Men also flourish in every area of their lives if they have a woman at home who respects them and creates a peaceful Environment for them to return to Everyday...

Ladies never take for granted! when he comes back home everyday, actually chooses to come home, stay home, enjoy you and the home you've made... It means your doing your job well...

No Man's an Island... So to all those on a journey to find their LOVE!!... All the Best... Remember Heart and Mind!! & Have all the difficult conversations before you commit.. So that your both well aware of what your getting into!! And expectations that are not met are such a downer, so also remember that your both imperfect humans! But that's no excuse to be lazy... It takes work! Everyday intentionally find ways to show him/her that you treasure them...


That is All... Bless:-)