Man Up!

'Every relationship has it's problems, but what makes it perfect is when you still want to be there when everything sucks!'I Came across this a lil while ago and I must say that this is my kind of Love... Over the years I've learnt that there is indeed more to love then the butterflies, romance and the whole whirlwind experience don't get me wrong, all that is necessary, but not always a realistic expectation, especially with Life's Responsibilities, like Work Deadlines, Bills to Pay and Raising Children...

This is why when two come together their basis has to be one of friendship, because in that comes trust, loyalty, respect and understanding... Today I want to focus on 'UNDERSTANDING',This is a fundamental factor when it comes to co-existing with someone, because their reactions and responses to certain things will make sense to you and you will learn with time how to respond. 'LEARNING' Your Partner is so key to achieving success in a relationship... One thing I've learnt about myself and from a number of isolated conversations I''ve had with different women in the past week, is that I like most opinionated women need a very Strong Man, because when a woman has opinions and her set ways and Standards, then in some if not most cases, the man can probably feel like he's never enough, because we can be critical and have expectations, which sometimes don't work in our favour, but I was raised by a STRONG! Man, who always spoke his mind and faced every situation and probably that's why though my folks didn't have a perfect marriage they stuck it out because they were both willing to be PRESENT to deal with issues as they arise, but I feel like our Generation is dealing with men who'd rather take FLIGHT! then FIGHT! I mean how many single, beautiful and hard working Mommy's do you know? And if you do the research their men left for no valid reason really, but simply because they wanted a woman who would sit back silently and be content with whatever even if it didn't meet her standards, instead of talking the man will come home a lil later that night drunk ofcourse, sleep in till you've probably left, then won't see him again until late and that cycle goes on until he hopes you've calmed down! cheat you with sex and dinner and treats, but never really having the necessary conversations...

C'mon!! I'd rather a man who when am upset will boldly come home! and if he finds me upset or arms in the air! then sit me the heck down! and talk to me like a grown man! and tell me where your coming from, then tell me your the man of the house and set some ground rules... Yes even in this Gender Rule era there is still nothing sexier than a man who can take charge of His household; you will gain my respect, and that will result to you feeling loved and appreciated and in turn you will love me even more, because I will treat you like the King you are! But fleeing each time there is a problem and only returning when all is well is such a sign of immaturity and can drive any woman up the wall!! And infact she will start to bully you, just to get a response, and the more you ignore the more she persists, until she get's some reaction from you that doesn't involve fleeing, but fighting actually signifies their is something worth fighting for! So word to the wise... Men take Charge of your homes! and your homes will not break!! Women will not need to look elsewhere or seem so unhappy no matter what you do, but ofcourse it is important to point that it makes it easier if your like minds, same vales and similar backgrounds with loads in common... The adage that goes 'Opposites Attract' is a falacy... Likeness=Happiness!!

Love Is...

As we celebrate Love, I thought I’d share my lessons of Love…

I am indeed a sucker for romance and all that Mush! But also I guess with time, age, experience… Am now re-learning and realising what makes it last, cause it’s very easy to get it I think, but making it last is the hard part, so you may feel the chemistry , the crazy attraction, the laughter… blah! Blah!

I am not about to disregard all that though, because they are infact all very important factors, but without having… Shared Values, attitude and outlook on life, same purpose and likeness in mind, then it all becomes a loosing game, hence why Paulo Coelho believes  “Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows”. Well that can be a very likely possibility when the connection is but a shallow one, when two decide to love! (And here key word is decide!) then your imperfections are visible from get go, but because your both on the same page then that love proves to be unconditional, as is God’s intention of how to love, so if you both value the spiritual connection and are guided by it, then your likeness in mind, heart and soul will make the Love Journey a whole lot more easier!

Love is Patient… Love is kind… It does not envy… It does not boast… It is not proud… It does not dishonor others… It is not self-seeking… It is not easily angered… It keeps no record of wrongs…  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth… It always protects… Always trusts… Always hopes… Always perseveres… And lastly… Love never fails!!

HAPPY VALENTINES!!

Finally

Love... We all yearn for it or run from it, maybe embrace it... Name it! Love affects us all! It's the smile on our face, the sparkle in our eyes, the warmth in our embrace and most of all the hope in our heart.

When they smile I know my world's going to be alright, when I hear their laugh I realise that I am indeed so highly blessed to have the gift of Motherhood. No other compares to this... Just when I think I can't be filled with more love, they blow me away with each coming day! when am quiet or pensive the younger one goes 'Hi Mom' and I respond hi back so cheerfully, she then smiles and responds 'Am fine' and off she goes... Just that little act see's me through my day and when I return back home from work or wherever it's like they can hear me from a mile away and dash to receive me at the door all skippy and giddy! As the older one runs screaming Mum and holds on to me so tightly, ofcourse as the younger one follows closeby...

So to think that God loves us like this and even more, brings me to my knees!! All along I've had the love I've so yearned for, all I needed to do was accept it... Each day His unfailing Love is still so merciful to undeserving me, so faithful even when am not... I am in awe of you my Father and in amazement of how far your undeserving favour keeps taking me... There is nothing like healing from broken trust, which is given if you put your hope in man, but He is not like man that He should lie, so as I stand on His word and promises for me, the more I spend time with Him and in Him, the more I understand and love Him and trust is now easy... Proverbs.3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." And indeed tried and tested... In Him I trust and realise I've always had all the Love that I need:-)

Equally Yoked...

In my rather short, but very blessed time here on earth I've had the privilege to meet quite a number of wonderful people, I've also had a number of mind blowing experiences, with some of course not being very good for me, but all the same we do learn from our experiences... And that is what mistakes are there for, for us to learn, grow and hopefully be better people after that... So really one can live a life with no regrets if they choose to learn from their bad choices, decisions and really make a 360!turn and choose His Path... Yes only on His!(His here being our heavenly Father), because on His path there is peace, Joy, clarity and abounding and unconditional love! All of which are elements of a successful life if you ask me...

For the longest time 1st Samuel 15:22, which reads that Obedience is Better!! than Sacrifice, was really just a verse for me, because I've always been the person who'd rather experience something for myself to get the lesson even of it means getting burned! But now almost 27years later, I see why God asks us to obey His every word, it really is for our own good! to live by His law and fully trust Him always and not man... This lesson was learnt after realisation from another of His vital lessons that teaches us in 2nd Corinthians 6:14 to not be Unequally yoked with unbelievers, as light and dark have nothing in common,' Now this one I battled with cause I always thought that I could be the influence, and His light would shine through me and bring those in the dark to light!! but boy! isn't that the hardest thing one could ever do! especially if coming from the woman, because it is the man who is meant to be the head in the relationship.

Therefore trying to influence renewal of mind when really that isn't your role can be a tricky one, so I came across Matthew 11:30, which reads 'For my yoke is easy to bear and burden light' and like a light-bulb of all the years I've read that verse never has it made so much more sense to me... Let me explain when you decide to rest your worries on God, He will surely give you rest, but also my other interpretation of this is when two decide to come together as one, God wasn't kidding about being on the same page; For if you have same values, views, even similar backgrounds and experiences then forming a friendship and bond is far easier, but when the opposite is the case, that's when unhappiness creeps in, just sticking around because of time and or investments and really being lonely in a relationship, which is a paradox really, but if you are both under His authority then though the journey is never a smooth one, it will be easy, because His yoke is easy! If nothing else, just being on the same page spiritually really aligns everything else and there in lies Fulfilment... So may we all live by 1st Samuel 15:22, the heartache will definately by far be much less if not even at all...

Be Blessed;-)