Tuesday 3 December 2013

Revelations


So I recently over-heard a rather interesting conversation at the spa, where the client was am guessing narrating her personal life experience to the manicurist, and she said that her Mother was rather worried for this generation; And that caught my attention, because I was curious to hear where the conversation would then lead, at first I thought she'd say the usual "oh! this generation is so lost! incredibly ratchet! and misguided" or whatever, but what she said got me thinking; she said "in her day couples lasted longer"... Hmmm I know... And here is the reason she went on to add; "because The Man and The Woman, didn't come to the table as Equals!" BOOM!! Moment of silence there...

Speaking to the ladies here... Women are driving better cars if not the same then the guy who's tryna holla @U!! Or you both live in a two or three bedroom apartment in up-market nairobi, so the client went on to say- "What then is the man bringing to the table!?" I hope this doesn't come out as too materialistic... But I kinda get where she's coming from...

And so I left the spa that day with that eaves dropped conversation playing over in my mind, and it got me thinking about my dating life as a Single Mother, & truth be told I do find myself attracted to a more successful man, and by that I mean more successful than myself, other than the whole; security, comfort and all that jazz, I realized the main reason is "Iron sharpens Iron", well at least for me that's the case, because I want a man who's already there!! That way he can teach me a thing or two about how to get there!! Push me to want to be a better version of myself! I honestly feel like a Man who's already there! Is more settled with himself & as a result more secure, confident & sure of what he wants, which is very attractive! I was just reading Caroline Mutoko's article on the Monday Star & she gave a polite reminder; "Boy is Passive! While Man is Active" I feel like in this generation we are dealing with more Boys than we are Men! Yes I said it!! Granted, the Men are present, probably even a generous lot! and bless them for representing! But the ratio is insane!!& men may probably say the same about us women, but am just speaking my truth here!!

Another revelation! which am still surprised is only dawning on me now!! Is how deluded the dating scene is for the Single Mother! almost void of the fairytale!! And by that I mean, Men don't even try to sugar coat, pretend or attempt to want more! Married Men openly approach you!! & as for the Single ones, well at least the stories I've heard; they are either afraid or would rather play mind games! and nobody got time for that!

So all this left me wondering, like honestly after two kids, is a woman supposed to stop believing in the fairytale? and secondly trust me, am not against a growing couple starting out together on the same page, not at all!! In fact I admire those who do it, it's beautiful in it's own right! In fact a Man who grows with his woman probably appreciates her more!! (errrmmmm I dunno... they still Clande) Anyway, am probably just tainted, but I now realize that for me I want a man who's been there done that! moved on and can share the experience with me, even a man who is a parent is easier then one who doesn't have kids, because there will be alot more that is familiar...

Allow me to wind up with a rant;- to all the Married Men out there and Single Men with commitment issues who think Single Mothers are not worth the fairytale! Be sure!! She is still worth the fuss! The investing! The effort & the dream! BOOM!!

That is all... #Catharsistherapy

John Mayer.Feat.Katy Perry- Who You Love... ENJOY!