Revelations

So I recently over-heard a rather interesting conversation at the spa, where the client was am guessing narrating her personal life experience to the manicurist, and she said that her Mother was rather worried for this generation; And that caught my attention, because I was curious to hear where the conversation would then lead, at first I thought she'd say the usual "oh! this generation is so lost! incredibly ratchet! and misguided" or whatever, but what she said got me thinking; she said "in her day couples lasted longer"... Hmmm I know... And here is the reason she went on to add; "because The Man and The Woman, didn't come to the table as Equals!" BOOM!! Moment of silence there...

Speaking to the ladies here... Women are driving better cars if not the same then the guy who's tryna holla @U!! Or you both live in a two or three bedroom apartment in up-market nairobi, so the client went on to say- "What then is the man bringing to the table!?" I hope this doesn't come out as too materialistic... But I kinda get where she's coming from...

And so I left the spa that day with that eaves dropped conversation playing over in my mind, and it got me thinking about my dating life as a Single Mother, & truth be told I do find myself attracted to a more successful man, and by that I mean more successful than myself, other than the whole; security, comfort and all that jazz, I realized the main reason is "Iron sharpens Iron", well at least for me that's the case, because I want a man who's already there!! That way he can teach me a thing or two about how to get there!! Push me to want to be a better version of myself! I honestly feel like a Man who's already there! Is more settled with himself & as a result more secure, confident & sure of what he wants, which is very attractive! I was just reading Caroline Mutoko's article on the Monday Star & she gave a polite reminder; "Boy is Passive! While Man is Active" I feel like in this generation we are dealing with more Boys than we are Men! Yes I said it!! Granted, the Men are present, probably even a generous lot! and bless them for representing! But the ratio is insane!!& men may probably say the same about us women, but am just speaking my truth here!!

Another revelation! which am still surprised is only dawning on me now!! Is how deluded the dating scene is for the Single Mother! almost void of the fairytale!! And by that I mean, Men don't even try to sugar coat, pretend or attempt to want more! Married Men openly approach you!! & as for the Single ones, well at least the stories I've heard; they are either afraid or would rather play mind games! and nobody got time for that!

So all this left me wondering, like honestly after two kids, is a woman supposed to stop believing in the fairytale? and secondly trust me, am not against a growing couple starting out together on the same page, not at all!! In fact I admire those who do it, it's beautiful in it's own right! In fact a Man who grows with his woman probably appreciates her more!! (errrmmmm I dunno... they still Clande) Anyway, am probably just tainted, but I now realize that for me I want a man who's been there done that! moved on and can share the experience with me, even a man who is a parent is easier then one who doesn't have kids, because there will be alot more that is familiar...

Allow me to wind up with a rant;- to all the Married Men out there and Single Men with commitment issues who think Single Mothers are not worth the fairytale! Be sure!! She is still worth the fuss! The investing! The effort & the dream! BOOM!!

That is all... #Catharsistherapy

John Mayer.Feat.Katy Perry- Who You Love... ENJOY!

The Power Of 7!!

Not too long ago, I was having dinner with one of my mentors and he was keen to point out the 7/7 rule! I was baffled, so asked him to clarify, he then asked me to pretty much analyze my life with each 7th cycle, and indeed our body developmental cycle operates in a cycle of SEVENS! 

And just to bring in some science as proof of this; Changes take place in the body every SEVEN years. There are SEVEN bones in the neck, SEVEN bones in the face, SEVEN bones in the ankle, and SEVEN holes in the head. Most births are multiple of SEVENS. The hen sits three weeks (21 days); the pigeon two weeks (14 days); after having laid eggs for two weeks. Of the 129 species of Mammalia the majority have a period from conception to birth of an exact number of weeks, a multiple of SEVEN.

And even if you can watch your growth, after each 7years you would begin a new phase of your life; first it's 7years, leaving the toddler stage and becoming more independent, then the next cycle 14years, just settling into the teen years, where all the drama takes place, then 21!! officially an adult, though of-course still alot more growing to do, then comes 28!! which is kinda where I am, because I just turned 27 this year and I can already feel a purging taking place to get me to my point of 'perfection' and completion... Allow me to explain; The Number 7 to me signifies COMPLETION!! According to scripture, which is evident every day, from the number of days it took to create the earth, which is now the number of days a week... The cycle completed in SEVEN days and many other instances in the bible, shows that God works in SEVENS! Usually 7! signifying the End of a phase and the beginning of a New... 

Now being shy of my thirties, where normally the concerns are marriage and settling down, being at the peak of my career or at-least on my way there, well to be honest as much as all that is a work in progress, I can really feel it... I am definitely more challenged now! First As a Mother, as much as two years later parenting is second nature, the new challenges are not a walk in the park! who would have thought potty training would be so HARD!! and instilling discipline can really have you pulling at your hair!! But I am certain that once we succeeded here, then we will then be turning the page and unto a new chapter, albeit with it's own different challenges, but indeed with sure growth and maturity for both them and me...

Then comes my career, which still has a long way to go, but I also can't shake off the feeling that something big is happening or is about to happen, so all I can do is prepare for it on my part and that involves going back to school to do what I've always wanted to, which is Psychology; and trust for God to take me to greater heights...

And of-course there is the sudden realization that I am single, with twin girls btw! LOL! (YES I just realized the other day!!) Anyway, this can stir up moments where one wonders if this is all I have in store for me? Is it too late for the picket fence and one or maybe two other children? Or even in this era we live in, is marriage really all it is set out to be?.... And I could really go on and on but fact is, even in this area of my life something is happening... I am now re-learning truths I thought I could take to the bank!! where love is concerned, but in that fairy-tale I realize that Love never comes as you expect, sometimes it can come looking sooo flawed, you end up discarding it as you wait for the perfect situation, which is by they way not the case at all, and by no means at all am I saying that we should settle for whatever comes our way!! HECK NO!! All am saying is be more open to different possibilities, but are of-course at the end of the day in line with your values and beliefs, because if your in conflict with yourself it will always show... My indicator has always been Peace of mind! If your not battling in the mind, then your well on you way... 

Of-course the next cycle is 35!! and funny enough I have a friend who is now here... Very beautiful, intelligent, go-getter, but still looking to settle down, and this can be a scary place to be or the most amazing place to be, depending on how you choose to look at it! If still single, your family may now really be on your neck to bear grand babies and may even be embarrassed to confess that their first born is still single! The stigma around this especially for the Woman who is at the top of her game, ends up loosing elements of her femininity I feel, she can become more abrasive, shrewd and pretty much no nonsense, because all she really has is her work, so she'll pull in extra hours, get her Master and maybe even PHD, so that she can have something to be proud of! HERSELF!!(THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO ALL I MUST POINT OUT!) I actually think it is beautiful to invest in yourself though, but if not careful at this stage, then getting into a relationship will be rather difficult, because if your male age-mates are themselves not married, then the dynamics with the bachelors could be tricky, because you will both struggle to fit into each others world, of-course having both grown accustomed to your own space, so learning selflessness and compromise will not be an easy Journey... Or the other option is to have a young play boy!! But how long will that last...

And lastly for now at at-least... Is the 42year old, who may have a partner at home driving her crazy with his mid-life crisis and or teenagers running a havoc!! Or say maybe divorced, because I have a friend in a similar situation and she too is in a great place in her career, everything is going up! Parenting for her is probably the easiest part of her day, though as the teen years develop that is likely to change... And her love-life at this point is all up to her!! I feel like this is such a freeing place to be, she's probably not looking to get married, she's not rushing to have kids, she probably doesn't really need a man financially, so for her it's pretty much purely companionship!! which takes away all the pressure that comes with first timers like myself LOL!! So I feel like at this stage the relationship is likely to last longer, or if not, the fact that you will make the most of the PRESENT! You will surely be happier, more appreciate and I really do see what they mean when they say that for women, Life really does begin at 40!! One is more sure of themselves, so that does wonders for self-confidence, plus sexual appetite, which I forgot to mention, after 35 it can become a force to reckon with!! LOL! So if this is true for all, then you and your partner can have a Hella good time;-) Also at this stage, you've probably made almost all the mistakes, so a dozen times wiser and more appreciative, because at this point you really do believe that it is in fact 'NEVER THAT SERIOUS!!'

Wise Words From Mommy dearest...

Do you know that what you say is what you get?

I believe we get what we say because God honors His Word—and His Word says that “whosoever...shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass...shall have whatsoever he saith” (Mark 11:23)

He shall have whatsoever he saith! That is an awesome Bible promise. This however is a two-edged sword: it could work for you, or against you depending on what you say. We constantly use words like “I can't” and “I'm afraid” when God's Word says “I can” and “Fear not.” Our words are  are out of harmony with God's Word; we are disagreeing with the Lord!

“Can two walk together, except they agree?” asks Amos 3:3. I discovered that we can never walk with God in blessing, triumph and abundant supply as long as we disagree with God's Word. So here is the secret: we have to agree with the Lord, we have to say what God says about our lives, our health, our finances, our strength, our anointing, the power He has given us, about all the blessings He has promised us in His Word.

Since what we say is what we get, don't ever say anything you wouldn’t want to get. To help us overcome any habit of negative speaking, it may help us to start with the “Never Again List”

NEVER AGAIN LIST

Never Again will l confess “I can't” for “I can do do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

Never Again will I confess lack, for “My God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19)

Never Again will I confess fear, for “God has not given us a spirit of fear but a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind” (2Timothy 1:7)

Never Again will I confess doubt and lack of faith, for “God has given to every man the measure of faith” (Romans12:3)

Never Again will I confess weakness, for “The Lord is the strength of my life” (Psalms 27:1) and “The people that know their Gos shall be strong and do exploits” (Daniel 11:32)

Never Again will I confess supremacy of satan over my life, for “Greater is he that is within me than he that is in the world” (1John 4:4)

Never Again will I confess lack of wisdom for “Christ Jesus is made unto me wisdom from God” (1Corinthians 1:30)

Never Again will I confess sickness for “By His stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:5) and Jesus “Himself took my infirmities and bare my sickness” (Matthew 8:17)

Never Again will I confess worries and frustrations, for I am “Casting all my cares upon Him who cares for me” (1Peter 5:7). In Christ I am “care-free!”

Never Again will I confess bondage, for “Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty” (2Corinthians 3:17). My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit!

Never Again will I confess condemnation, for “There is therefore now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). I am in Christ; therefore , I am free from condemnation.

Lessons In Love

So chatting to a friend of mine about Relationships and Love... Blah!! Blah!! Blah!! Your probably thinking, Whats new there!! Well my friend is just a very visibly happily married woman, with a little one on the way... So I asked her how she knew her husband was the one for her... And her simple answer really struck me! She didn't give me many stories! All she said was "Because he truly loves me..." And that caught me cause we usually over-complicate things, over-think, over-analyse, but when it's truly meant to be... It's so easy! There is no doubt in your mind... Because This Love... His Love... Brings with it security and a peace of mind that sets such a calm tone in your life to complete the beautiful puzzle that it is...

She was however more aware of how to tell the real from the fake, only after experiencing the complete opposite of what she is now, so now her advise to me is always watch out for the warning signs and take heed... Your Gut! That sixth sense that we women are all blessed with is indeed your best friend... So when in doubt... In conflict with self and confusion starts to creep in... Be Still and listen to the message there in...

It's not always easy to walk away especially if that union was not based on the heart and mind equation, but once you realise that there is indeed far much more than fireworks, then your probably ready for a  Mature relationship... But also a dose of wisdom one of my aunties left with me, which is some critical advise ladies! "Be with a man who loves you more than You do Him!!"... Yup! I said it! even the good book calls for Men to Love! their wives! Key word here is Love! and all we're asked to do is to submit! And really if you think about it, Women really flourish and glow when they have a man who loves them... And Men also flourish in every area of their lives if they have a woman at home who respects them and creates a peaceful Environment for them to return to Everyday...

Ladies never take for granted! when he comes back home everyday, actually chooses to come home, stay home, enjoy you and the home you've made... It means your doing your job well...

No Man's an Island... So to all those on a journey to find their LOVE!!... All the Best... Remember Heart and Mind!! & Have all the difficult conversations before you commit.. So that your both well aware of what your getting into!! And expectations that are not met are such a downer, so also remember that your both imperfect humans! But that's no excuse to be lazy... It takes work! Everyday intentionally find ways to show him/her that you treasure them...


That is All... Bless:-)

Final...

The Finality of putting a loved one six feet under is never easy, even though we are all well aware that that is our eventual destination... Some day, One Day... We all return to dust... And as my Auntie told me today as we lay our dear brother to rest; She said with each loss, in their lies a lesson foretold or Unforeseen...

And I must agree, for in under a month three people passed, unexpectedly gone too soon... But like I am beginning to learn, there is no such thing as leaving before your time... For God only allows you to leave this earth when your purpose is done!! and not a minute before... For the longest time I battled with my Fathers death, because he was meant to walk me down the aisle and meet my children... But all that has not happened and will not happen... It took me a while to learn that he actually did all that he could do for me, for as long as he could... But God never leaves a void... For I am now smiling in double portion...

So Anne Mburu, Nyawira Mwaura and Garvin Msalame Mwashumbe though we may not understand why you left so soon... It is evident that your purpose was fulfilled!! You each brought joy, love and warmth that will be terribly missed... Judging from the overwhelming response from your family and friends upon receiving the news of your passing... It is evident how many lives you all touched! and what better way to live by sharing yourself with others!! which you all did!! Bless you three!! Your legacies will surely live on!!

As I write this though I wonder if we brought joy, love and warmth to each of you with equal measure... Did you each feel our appreciation for each of you while you were still here with us!? Or is this over-whelming love overflowing only now!!?... Deep personal vetting required here... Because I surely feel like if we each gave 120% of ourselves to each of you and to everyone else we may have lost, then letting go becomes abit more bearable, because you can let go knowing you made the most of the time God granted here on earth, Until we meet again...

So my take home on this Month of May, the same Month that 3years ago also marks the loss of my Father is a very significant time for me! Because again I am reminded that tomorrow is indeed only borrowed, so living and really just existing in the moment is the only way to really live! So I am now more intentional in my relationships, With my children I am more present... And really present, listening to them, seeing them, feeling them and just simply being there with them! And the same goes with all my other close relationships... Presence is key!! If there is nothing else you can give! Give Of Yourself... That way when it's time to say goodbye, atleast you'll have made the most of this short and precious life! 

Love More, Judge Less, Forgive Always and Smile! Smile! Smile...

Bless!!

Bless this Child:-) en-GB

Frustrated Kenyan!!

As I sit here on my desk trying with all my might to stay awake! Because the flu meds are getting the better of me, but somehow the constant coughing is keeping me well alert... I am now forced to turn to the tv set next to me and there it is!! A scene from the Moi era, where a rightly constitutional protest is turned into a brigade of men in uniform, beating the life out of innocent Citizens, to the point where I can actually see an international Journalist, jumping to shield one of the unfortunate, as he was receiving a thorough beating! So this journalist did the instinctive and rather brave act of selflessness and took cover for the poor fella...

I won't even get to the Pigs who were present, am guessing to drive the point home! Though am not sure if animal rights were really observed there... Anyway that is conversation for another day, I digress...

These MPigs!! As we now refer them to are asking for 851,000KSH!! For their salary package minus allowances!! Excuse my French but WHAT THE F***!!! Salaries and Remuneration Commission have allocated 532,000KSH!! The excuse many of them bring up is that 'Oh! my people will ask me to help them with fees or medical bills or whatever!!' Fine!! then how about you do your job to better your community, so that they won't have to keep asking you for handouts!! This really just feels like a true mirror of our society;During the Campaigns you poured money to get votes, and people were more than willing to accept! now that your asking for money to continue feeding that mouth that will continually ask you 'Saidia Mweshimiwa!!' For goodness sake! CDF ni ya nini? And we wonder why these same MP's will ask for more money! Because the mwanaichi will expect more money from him now that he is in office!! So really that greed goes across the board and only till we allow the constitution that we all voted for, to fulfill it's mandate, then we're in trouble! So am glad to see Salaries and Remuneration Chair Sarah Serem stand her ground and  not allow for our so called Public Servants to bully her and her very competent team!!

I also get that this time we have new entrants from the Private Sector who were earning rather hefty salaries in their respective fields! But C'mon this is a whole new ball game... News Flash! Your role is now about Service Delivery! First! not a money making scheme! So am sorry, but we simply can't afford you!! Like teachers and doctors, the reality is that being a Public Servant needs to be a calling, so alot of sacrifice and selflessness must be observed for the greater good!! But this also has to start with us... The Society. Hence why seeing such brave steps taken by the Civil Society is encouraging, though still this hand-out business needs to stop! Nothing comes for free!! The only way to succeed is working your a** off!! I believe Mr.MP that as you were busy campaigning for these seats you were very clear on the pay package then! And maybe the reality now on the ground is that it is not enough! Well that really is for you to contend with and somehow make it work! We do it every freaking day! Make it work! Mweshimiwa!! Deliver on your many promises then just maybe when the devolved system begins to bear fruit there can be an appraisal if need be! Na ni hayo tu kwa sasa!!

Man Up!

'Every relationship has it's problems, but what makes it perfect is when you still want to be there when everything sucks!'I Came across this a lil while ago and I must say that this is my kind of Love... Over the years I've learnt that there is indeed more to love then the butterflies, romance and the whole whirlwind experience don't get me wrong, all that is necessary, but not always a realistic expectation, especially with Life's Responsibilities, like Work Deadlines, Bills to Pay and Raising Children...

This is why when two come together their basis has to be one of friendship, because in that comes trust, loyalty, respect and understanding... Today I want to focus on 'UNDERSTANDING',This is a fundamental factor when it comes to co-existing with someone, because their reactions and responses to certain things will make sense to you and you will learn with time how to respond. 'LEARNING' Your Partner is so key to achieving success in a relationship... One thing I've learnt about myself and from a number of isolated conversations I''ve had with different women in the past week, is that I like most opinionated women need a very Strong Man, because when a woman has opinions and her set ways and Standards, then in some if not most cases, the man can probably feel like he's never enough, because we can be critical and have expectations, which sometimes don't work in our favour, but I was raised by a STRONG! Man, who always spoke his mind and faced every situation and probably that's why though my folks didn't have a perfect marriage they stuck it out because they were both willing to be PRESENT to deal with issues as they arise, but I feel like our Generation is dealing with men who'd rather take FLIGHT! then FIGHT! I mean how many single, beautiful and hard working Mommy's do you know? And if you do the research their men left for no valid reason really, but simply because they wanted a woman who would sit back silently and be content with whatever even if it didn't meet her standards, instead of talking the man will come home a lil later that night drunk ofcourse, sleep in till you've probably left, then won't see him again until late and that cycle goes on until he hopes you've calmed down! cheat you with sex and dinner and treats, but never really having the necessary conversations...

C'mon!! I'd rather a man who when am upset will boldly come home! and if he finds me upset or arms in the air! then sit me the heck down! and talk to me like a grown man! and tell me where your coming from, then tell me your the man of the house and set some ground rules... Yes even in this Gender Rule era there is still nothing sexier than a man who can take charge of His household; you will gain my respect, and that will result to you feeling loved and appreciated and in turn you will love me even more, because I will treat you like the King you are! But fleeing each time there is a problem and only returning when all is well is such a sign of immaturity and can drive any woman up the wall!! And infact she will start to bully you, just to get a response, and the more you ignore the more she persists, until she get's some reaction from you that doesn't involve fleeing, but fighting actually signifies their is something worth fighting for! So word to the wise... Men take Charge of your homes! and your homes will not break!! Women will not need to look elsewhere or seem so unhappy no matter what you do, but ofcourse it is important to point that it makes it easier if your like minds, same vales and similar backgrounds with loads in common... The adage that goes 'Opposites Attract' is a falacy... Likeness=Happiness!!

Love Is...

As we celebrate Love, I thought I’d share my lessons of Love…

I am indeed a sucker for romance and all that Mush! But also I guess with time, age, experience… Am now re-learning and realising what makes it last, cause it’s very easy to get it I think, but making it last is the hard part, so you may feel the chemistry , the crazy attraction, the laughter… blah! Blah!

I am not about to disregard all that though, because they are infact all very important factors, but without having… Shared Values, attitude and outlook on life, same purpose and likeness in mind, then it all becomes a loosing game, hence why Paulo Coelho believes  “Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows”. Well that can be a very likely possibility when the connection is but a shallow one, when two decide to love! (And here key word is decide!) then your imperfections are visible from get go, but because your both on the same page then that love proves to be unconditional, as is God’s intention of how to love, so if you both value the spiritual connection and are guided by it, then your likeness in mind, heart and soul will make the Love Journey a whole lot more easier!

Love is Patient… Love is kind… It does not envy… It does not boast… It is not proud… It does not dishonor others… It is not self-seeking… It is not easily angered… It keeps no record of wrongs…  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth… It always protects… Always trusts… Always hopes… Always perseveres… And lastly… Love never fails!!

HAPPY VALENTINES!!

Finally

Love... We all yearn for it or run from it, maybe embrace it... Name it! Love affects us all! It's the smile on our face, the sparkle in our eyes, the warmth in our embrace and most of all the hope in our heart.

When they smile I know my world's going to be alright, when I hear their laugh I realise that I am indeed so highly blessed to have the gift of Motherhood. No other compares to this... Just when I think I can't be filled with more love, they blow me away with each coming day! when am quiet or pensive the younger one goes 'Hi Mom' and I respond hi back so cheerfully, she then smiles and responds 'Am fine' and off she goes... Just that little act see's me through my day and when I return back home from work or wherever it's like they can hear me from a mile away and dash to receive me at the door all skippy and giddy! As the older one runs screaming Mum and holds on to me so tightly, ofcourse as the younger one follows closeby...

So to think that God loves us like this and even more, brings me to my knees!! All along I've had the love I've so yearned for, all I needed to do was accept it... Each day His unfailing Love is still so merciful to undeserving me, so faithful even when am not... I am in awe of you my Father and in amazement of how far your undeserving favour keeps taking me... There is nothing like healing from broken trust, which is given if you put your hope in man, but He is not like man that He should lie, so as I stand on His word and promises for me, the more I spend time with Him and in Him, the more I understand and love Him and trust is now easy... Proverbs.3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take." And indeed tried and tested... In Him I trust and realise I've always had all the Love that I need:-)

Equally Yoked...

In my rather short, but very blessed time here on earth I've had the privilege to meet quite a number of wonderful people, I've also had a number of mind blowing experiences, with some of course not being very good for me, but all the same we do learn from our experiences... And that is what mistakes are there for, for us to learn, grow and hopefully be better people after that... So really one can live a life with no regrets if they choose to learn from their bad choices, decisions and really make a 360!turn and choose His Path... Yes only on His!(His here being our heavenly Father), because on His path there is peace, Joy, clarity and abounding and unconditional love! All of which are elements of a successful life if you ask me...

For the longest time 1st Samuel 15:22, which reads that Obedience is Better!! than Sacrifice, was really just a verse for me, because I've always been the person who'd rather experience something for myself to get the lesson even of it means getting burned! But now almost 27years later, I see why God asks us to obey His every word, it really is for our own good! to live by His law and fully trust Him always and not man... This lesson was learnt after realisation from another of His vital lessons that teaches us in 2nd Corinthians 6:14 to not be Unequally yoked with unbelievers, as light and dark have nothing in common,' Now this one I battled with cause I always thought that I could be the influence, and His light would shine through me and bring those in the dark to light!! but boy! isn't that the hardest thing one could ever do! especially if coming from the woman, because it is the man who is meant to be the head in the relationship.

Therefore trying to influence renewal of mind when really that isn't your role can be a tricky one, so I came across Matthew 11:30, which reads 'For my yoke is easy to bear and burden light' and like a light-bulb of all the years I've read that verse never has it made so much more sense to me... Let me explain when you decide to rest your worries on God, He will surely give you rest, but also my other interpretation of this is when two decide to come together as one, God wasn't kidding about being on the same page; For if you have same values, views, even similar backgrounds and experiences then forming a friendship and bond is far easier, but when the opposite is the case, that's when unhappiness creeps in, just sticking around because of time and or investments and really being lonely in a relationship, which is a paradox really, but if you are both under His authority then though the journey is never a smooth one, it will be easy, because His yoke is easy! If nothing else, just being on the same page spiritually really aligns everything else and there in lies Fulfilment... So may we all live by 1st Samuel 15:22, the heartache will definately by far be much less if not even at all...

Be Blessed;-)