And here's why... I see teen girls who dress no different
from twilight-girls and at merely 13!! They are out of the house not even aware
of what they are communicating to the opposite sex their age or older... And
now with Parents having no time, as we build empires, go back to school for an
MBA, no time to bond with the growing teen or even take them to church... I
understand where they pick there values from, with this Global Village we live
in... Rihanna, Nicki, Kim... The list is endless!! Give a majority of our girls
the easier route out, because it's so much harder to emulate women like- Cina
Lawson- Togo Minister of Post & Telecommunications, or Maud Chifamba 14yr
Old University Accounting Student from Zimbabwe, (refer to latest Forbes Africa
Most Powerful Women Under 45 Article) or even more familiar names like Oprah or
Sheryl SandBerg who show that Hard Work & Value still go a long way.
My point is, I feel this Generation feels too entitled! I
understand the need to express yourself, but to some extent this "My
Dress, My Choice" Movement, though with it's heart in the right place,
will only be an excuse for some girls to dress skimpily, which as I grow
older... I am made to understand is personal choice of-course, so what to do
but Respect that...
However I feel like this is the wrong approach! Don't fix a
wrong with a "wrong" & by that I mean taking to the streets will
not change much, just today these street hooligans are at it again! the strike
could just make these foolish men fight even more, instead it's time to begin
changing the conversations in our Homes, Schools, and social gatherings...This
will take time!! Let's teach our girls to have self-value again, and teach our
Men to honour & respect us. Humanity is a RIGHT! So those violent acts must
have consequences, but let us also find permanent solutions for Man & Woman
to Co-exist.
So to all those who may read this with some ignorance, this
part is for you... I am not condoning the Violent Acts at all! But all am
saying is that Hashtags and Protest will not communicate effectively to the
illiterate touts, but Laws that Govern and Protect for the Safety of Humanity,
of Women, these idots need to know that what they are doing is punishable buy
law! so question is where are our Women Reps!? What actions are being taken? In
the meantime let's Raise Boys who know better and Women who Challenge them to
continually Step Up. #HumanRightsForAll is better Hashtag.
Rubbish!! While you are "not condoning the Violent Acts at all" you are promoting rape culture and victim shaming.
ReplyDeleteSorry to say so but you did not understand her article
DeleteThis is high level ignorance on your part.
ReplyDeleteCheck your privilege miss.
What the fuckity fuck! don't promote rape culture with your rubbish blog ... Do you think skimpily dressed women should be stripped, ruffed up, tormented etc? THe hell is wrong with you? UNderstand that skimpy dress is very subjective, you may think you dress decently but to some men, it may be over the top, do you then justify it if YOU were to be manhandled? Just wasted 3 min of my time reading your nonsense!
ReplyDeleteAre you saying our ancestors had no self-value? They wore short skirts, and uncovered their torsos, did they not have self-value? Did the people in the 60s, and 70s not value themselves with their minis, bare midriffs, open shirts, and bellbottoms? Short skirts don't define a lack of self value; and if you've bothered to look around, prostitutes don't only wear short skirts. They also wear jeans, and sundresses. What has changed in the last forty years is that people have depressed the value they give to women. They claim decency to justify their misogyny and violence. Even if women were to wear baggy industrial plastic all over their bodies, it wouldn't stop the violence meted out upon them. So, yes, my dress, my choice, in hashtags, in practise, because the violence won't stop until people decide to stop, including people such as yourself.
ReplyDeleteHas the author of this piece read on the history and struggle of women to get where they are today?
ReplyDeleteGovernment's did not bring women their rights on a silver platter as they sat at home, there were struggles and fights by those before.
Having been born at an age where Grace Msalame can get a career of her choice and actively participate in society, she probably assumes things have been as they are all along.
Preach dude!!
DeleteYou feel this Generation feels too entitled? Well, wait and see the next generation, and the one after that. But then again, don't they have a right to?
ReplyDeleteI am saddened that you feel that the #MyDressMyChoice CAMPAIGN (not "Movement") will only be an excuse for some girls to dress skimpily but I'm surprised that you never bothered to really find out from the organizers where it's heart which you say "is in the right place" really is.
The campaign has a lot more to do with creating awareness on the increased level of violence against women, than it has on your choice of dressing.
And this last part is for you just in case you feel I might be speaking out of tune here:
Hashtags and Protest are not being used to communicate to the "illiterate" touts (they are not all illiterate btw), but as we deal with a Government that claims to be digital, we are using Hashtags and Protests to reach out to our Women Reps and our legal guardians so that the Laws that Govern and Protect the Safety of Humanity, of Women, can be enforced as they should.
It's got to start somewhere Grace. Even if we chose to use ##HumanRightsForAll as the hashtag, we just had to try and do something with what we have. So for now, #MyDressMyChoice it is.
You are a Christian and I believe you are familiar with the question in Exodus 4:2 "What's that in your hand?".
We can't go stripping men or stoning all touts in retaliation, we have to go home and we don't drive so we can't boycott using matatus...but what we have is the internet a phone/computer and ourselves. We will go to the streets and peacefully protest. We will invade the social media streets with hashtags, be it #MyDressMyChoice or #HumanRightsForAll. And we will CONTINUE raising boys who know better and women who have self-value.
I just Googled you and in half of your pictures you are wearing the same kind of clothes you refer to as for 'twilight girls'. You hypocrite! Get off that moral high ground, you have not earned your right to stand on it!
ReplyDeleteAnd how dare you attempt to rationalize violence against women?
I worry for your twins! How is it that you're a mother and don't see anything with men deciding for us what's decent and what's not?
ReplyDeleteI think the skimpy dressing and feeling of entitlement are symptoms of deeper issues affecting our generation. Some feel that dressing is the only way they can portray their individuality, in vain. It would have been more productive to take to the streets baying for the blood of those who humiliate women. That would have sent a stronger message about respecting women, rather than just prancing around town skimpily clad.
ReplyDeleteYou make alot of sense.We never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity...
DeleteStripping someone in public is worse than rape. It is a psychological trauma that leads to shock and recovery may never happen for such a victim. It causes society to become the most unsafe place for this person whether or not they will be dressed decently in future. It is a punishment that has no correlation to the crime the same way one does not understand rape of babies and older women or even of decently dressed women. I have watched women never recovering ever from rape. i have watched the debilitating long term effects of rape. Having just watched a 'strip video' just now I can be sure that these women will never recover. There is a problem with the dressing of some young women given today's standards. However, those young women are our sisters, children, cousins, aunties etc. I would challenge some of the men who stripped those women to follow their recovery stories, follow them through the traumatic recovery period of this incident. Somehow I can't seem to find the words that express the atrocity of this act. Having lived in the DRC and heard stories and watched the lives of women who have been stripped by armed soldiers, I wonder what the difference is between this society and the society that has caused the destruction of the lives of thousands of women. There is something wrong with a society that turns against its very own. How does one correct these things? Through laws, through teaching? Who knows but definitely not through dismembering each other..
ReplyDeleteGrace Msalame you can safely wear your bandage dresses in Westlands, but you're creating a dangerous environment for me who has to pass Tom Mboya street everyday since those "moral" men there get to decide on MY behalf if my jeans are decent or not. YOU have DAUGHTERS & you're ok creating an insecure environment where some inadequate, violent men get to judge & sentence them to this abhorrent punishment?! My mom taught us about morals & she doesn't even wear trousers, yet my sisters & I do wear them. I'm sure that even if she doesn't approve of them, she understands that in the fashions of this day & age women can wear pants & it's not taboo & she wouldn't like us to be attacked for ANY reason. Put into consideration the Kenya your daughters will live in when they're older & they are making their own choices.
ReplyDeleteGrace, please read your post, re-read it again and then take it down. I do pray that God gives you wisdom. There is no room for rationalizing Violence against women, PERIOD!.
ReplyDeleteGrace, your article was a breath of fresh air to me! It's disappointing that many women just don't understand that you are not condoning sexual violence against women, but you are simply saying that we need to gradually change our society as a whole in order to have men and women with higher morals.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteGrace you are a disGRACE. You mean to say people coming together for a cause is actually a WRONG?
ReplyDeleteMy two cents, you should cover up your tu-daughters lest they ever walk somewhere and get stripped. Atleast that's the message you are conveying, right?
What have you done to make a difference? On anything?
You mean to also say that when ladies are being stripped all over the place people should sit quietly in their homes and continue like nothing happened? We should ignore it? Let it slide? You call yourself a 'journalist' but I think you better go back and read about activism, change movements and social campaigns before you sit in your quiet little apartment writing about things you know nothing about.
I'm sorry I didn't ask but what would you do different about this issue? What steps have you taken?
If this happened to YOU or your SISTER, would you make alot of noise about it? Call upon all your friends and family to condemn the act? Well, guess what? We will continue being the voice of the voiceless because unlike you, the several ladies who were stripped don't have a KISS TV (or wherever you are nowadays) where they can gunner support and make noise about it.
You've just pissed me off by reading this blog. And to think I respected you as a young professional lady. *walks off in dusgust*
Really nice post..again, I like the way you think.
ReplyDelete